The Art of the Stage Dive: Shell-Breaking 101 ~ By Cory

Photography by Stephen

After telling my story at church to a new friend named Trudy of how I've been brought from introvert to semi-social butterfly literally in a span of weeks (note: the introvert is STILL there, I'm just pushed out of living in the characteristics of it) and after hearing other people's stories about having hard times making friends, I've come to realize something that I hope will help many others. I've come to realize...

the intricacies of "Mastering the Art of the Stage Dive."

We've all been to or seen one rock concert or another where the front man, in the middle of the bridge or breakdown of a song, releases all inhibition, and jumps head first into the crowd. While it's been seen to end in success on many occasions, tell a person who isn't used to it to perform one and watch a look of "are you crazy?" cover their face. The same reaction seems to be had of telling someone unfamiliar with socializing to "go and make friends."

It's been said many times that putting yourself in the mix, looking at that great big ocean of people and going for the jump is a tricky feat. From my experience, it isn't as much a tricky feat as it is a feat that requires two key components: overcoming your fear, and overcoming your past bad experiences.

So let's learn to jump…

Overcoming your fear, whether it be of rejection or of being ignored, is never easy, but always necessary. Fear is a paralyzing emotion that tells you to go to the corner at parties and get on your phone, not only to stop yourself from talking to others, but also to hinder others from desiring to connect with YOU. Fear calms your nerves and places you into the comfortable mindset where it's okay to not even WANT to communicate, because "they won't want to really have an in-depth conversation anyway" or "they won't care." The same way it's been said that violence begets more violence, fear begets more fear. It creates what it needs and then it feeds on it.

Overcoming your past bad experiences is a very different and a bit more mature component in this dive, because it requires you to overcome bitterness, hurt, and the mentality of self-defeat. Past bad experiences are always there as a reminder that it doesn't make sense to try. They tell you, "we've made attempts before and they've all just been a exercises in futility." They also have a crafty way of telling you that everyone you encounter is the same as the person from the prior bad encounter. They encourage you to believe everyone will be as unpleasant, trapping you in a box where you're left with the only person you can trust: YOU. 

Fear and past bad experiences are two damaging mental obstacles to anyone looking to finally say "I'm ready to make friends." But what do we do? How do we successfully accomplish the stage dive?

The answer is simple. Jump. 

Taking that initial stage dive won't necessarily be fun, but the same way past bad experiences tend to overpower our judgment, good ones can too. The jump that is in your initial "Hello," once done over and over, will teach you the fundamental key to communication that will only become more instinctive the more it's done. In the same way fear will tell you to go into the corner, overcoming that fear will teach you to leave.

Learning this "Social Stage Dive" will make you more confident, more courageous, and will show you who else in the room needs to learn the same lesson in overcoming the scariness of the situation.

Take the dive! It won't always end in success, but it will always teach you the necessity of courage. If you get a little hurt, get back up, psych yourself up again, and start the cycle of strength all over. 

Ready…Set…DIVE!