It's My Party and I'll Throw a Tantrum If I Want To ~ By Michelle

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When looking for my apartment upon moving to the city, I had a few things in mind that were high priority. Character of space, an actual kitchen, and a few chosen neighborhood options. The rest was, as they say, “negotiable.” I didn’t really think about views or proximity to subway stops or grocery stores. So now, I live on the first floor of a four floor walkup. 

I am not garden-level, which feels like a basement, but I also don’t have to haul my groceries up three or four painfully narrow stairwells. This affords me an interesting vantage point for both people-watching as well as eavesdropping on passing conversations.

Heck, New Yorkers love to loiter, so I often get a full-fledged front-row seat to a whole sitcom outside my window. I've seen everything from a marriage proposal to a young woman by a homeless guy (she said no, but he tenaciously countered with “How about tomorrow?”) to a raucous sidewalk brawl in the middle of the night when I woke to screams of “I AM GOING TO ‘BLEEPING’ KILL YOU” and “YOU BIT MY FINGER!!” There's never a dull moment in the city, not even at 3am.

This afternoon, I heard a young child outside my window head for a temper tantrum. He was shrieking and yelling in that high-pitched fervor that you know well if you have ever been around children. I could hear the pitch begin to climb higher and higher. I heard a muffled adult voice respond to the crisis. His mom must have gotten the upper hand because the decibels came back down to socially acceptable levels rather quickly, but it made me smile to myself and think, “Yeah I could use one of those on occasion.”  

Sure, I am an adult and I have more constructive ways of handling my emotions. I know how to deal with people when they hurt me or let me down or do things I just don’t understand. I know how to have constructive conversations with people and work together to come up with solutions to problems. It doesn’t make those things any less frustrating or hurtful - let’s face it, we all think we are right most of the time, but I know how to move on.  

Once in a while, though, wouldn’t it be fun to have a full-blown temper tantrum? I mean a throw-yourself-down-on-the-ground, kick, scream and cry bout of emotional exorcism. Remember those as a kid? When Mom wouldn’t let us have (insert your own personal best here). I think maybe we adults should be allowed one per month, but that may be excessive. Heck, if I saw someone drop down in the middle of 13th and actually have one it might curb my desire a little, but I am not convinced they don’t have some merit. I have a theory that it could help with the alcohol abuse in this country, but that is strictly theory. 

I did have an adult tantrum myself a few years ago. I was going through some pretty crappy stuff at the time and I got frustrated with my computer of all things. It just takes something small to set you off, doesn’t it? My frustration level just reached its limit one day and I needed to blow off some steam. Usually going for a run helps with that, but I am human and you can only run so much when life batters you around a little.  

Mind you, I had never let my anger out in this kind of way.....Never! I was really good at smiling and shoving anger down into my gut, but I was also in a transition period and learning new ways of coping with life. Honestly, when it was happening it was kind of frightening. I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to be able to get it under control. I started kicking the closest vertical surface I could find which happened to be a kitchen cabinet, stomping around the tile floor and crying hot tears of`ridiculousness. Thankfully no one was there to witness me go a little crazy. And thankfully I didn’t toss my computer off the balcony, although I am sure I considered it. 

Living in New York City, there is ample opportunity for tantrums. Dealing with building managers over pretty much anything, running for a train only to have its doors close right in your face and make you even more late for that appointment, walking through Times Square any day of the week. See, maybe a little tantrum now and then is right on par with a good cry...a little cleanser for the soul, if you will. Try it for yourself. Just don’t throw it in the middle of my block, or I might have to stop and point and laugh a little. Not to worry though, I am still new to the city. Most New Yorkers will walk on by and not even give you a second glance.