Movie Cliff Notes from a Movie Dork ~ By Evan

Photography by Michelle

I rarely go see movies in the theaters. They're far too expensive and half the time, the movie is not worth seeing on the big screen. So what are my movie theater must-haves? Action, special effects, and storyline that captures my attention on a 25-foot screen for two hours. Oh and it has to be worth bringing someone along to enjoy it with. I don't do movie theaters solo.

With all the talk of 2012 being the end of the world and such (for the record, I don't buy into any of it), I find it ironic that the best movies for me in a long time are all showing this year. Never before have I been able to count past one hand (that's five fingers or five movies), but this year I need almost three hands. 14 fingers to be exact. And that isn't including four movies that I do want to see; I'm just not convinced on their theater worthiness. 

I'm stunned, shocked, even scared to think that my bank account will have to go into serious fundraising to conquer this endeavor, but for your sake, dear reader, I will sacrifice and attempt to bring you something worth reading about each movie.

For now, enjoy my list of movies that I'm excited about.

PROMETHEUS - released June 8, 2012
Dubbed the unofficial "prequel" to Alien; why wouldn't I want to see this? One of the most iconic films in history and we now have something to once again follow the crew of the Prometheus back into space. Also, side-note: space movies with the potential for scary monsters? Huge plus for me.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER - releases June 22, 2012
American president before he's a president and he's badass killing vampires. Makes me wonder how John Wilkes Booth succeeded in blowing his head off, but still, I'm intrigued to see this flick.

TED - releases June 29, 2012
Stuffed bear, voiced by Seth MacFarlane, who is wildly inappropriate starring alongside Mark Wahlberg who…well watch the trailer. It's hilarious.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN - releases July 3, 2012
Finally, the movie is capturing the dark side of the story that the first three, yeah three, failed movies couldn't do. Those movies were like watching a preschooler try and put the square block into the triangle hole. Painfully obvious and wrong, yet there was nothing you could do to fix the situation. But now we have ourselves the knight in shining armor. *insert trumpet sounds* Spider-Man in 3D with the story we all have wanted.

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES - releases July 20, 2012
Smack yourself if you aren't as excited as I am about this film. It will be that good.

THE BOURNE LEGACY - releases August 3, 2012
Jeremy Renner is hardcore and this flick seeks to bring a fresh look into the craziness of Treadstone. Will surely be a lot of brilliant fight scenes and the grittiness that is Bourne.

TOTAL RECALL - releases August 3, 2012
Supposedly a remake of the original with fresh flavor, this is probably my most apprehensive film on my list (mainly because why remake a good thing?) but still it is interesting and I'd be willing to shell out to see what would come from this. Plus I'm dorky and enjoy sci-fi flicks. Why not indulge in that style?

FINDING NEMO 3D - releases September 14, 2012
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swi… sorry… I'm in love with this movie and would absolutely sit front-row to watch the fishes go on their epic tale. In 3D. With a smile on my face cheering little Nemo along.

SKYFALL - releases November 9, 2012
The name’s Bond, James Bond. And I am the best freaking Bond there ever was. Fear me. Love me. I (now I'm back to talking as myself, not hopelessly pretending to be Bond) will 100% see this because Daniel Craig has taken Bond to a whole new level. Sean Connery, move over, son. There's a new badass on the block.

RED DAWN - releases November 21, 2012
Anyone read "Tomorrow, When the War Began" or even watch the original "Red Dawn"? Because that'll make you want to watch this. Unless you are deathly afraid of World War III or America being invaded...then I recommend Finding Nemo 3D.

THE HOBBIT - releases December 14, 2012
Highly anticipated prequel to The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and yes I will see it, and no I will not be dressing up as a hobbit… I hope…

LES MISERABLES - December 14, 2012
Jean Valjean we all love and hate. The scene where he steals from the priest and receives an abundance of grace and goes on to lead a new life. Hopefully Hugh Jackman doesn't go Wolverine on people…

DJANGO UNCHAINED - releases December 25, 2012
It's Quentin Tarantino. Enough said. Plus Jamie Foxx and Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm sold right there.

THE GREAT GATSBY - releases December 25, 2012
Watch the trailer, read the book, and tell me straight faced you aren't interested. Prepare to be slapped if you do.

So there it is. My list. Hopefully I can bring words of wisdom, or reviews as you call it, that will entertain you and appeal to your "movie-goer" side to help draw you from the comforts of your home into entering the wonderful world of cinema.