NOT HOT - The BOOB WALLET
Ladies I know NONE of you would ever do such a thing, but I think it needs to be said so you too can do the honorable thing and spread the word…your boobs and bra are NOT a wallet, cell phone holder, or lipstick holder for that matter. NOTHING grosser than watching a women reach into her cleavage to take her money (sweaty ew) out and then reach back to grab her cell phone, answer it, and then SHOVE IT BACK IN. You have three options to avoid this: Option 1 - Be a lady and buy a bag- ANY BAG, a small cross body or clutch is perfect since it holds the basic PWL (phone, wallet, lips), Option 2 - Wear something with some POCKETS, this has served men well for MANY years, lets do the same ok!, Option 3 - Get a man! Men LOVE to stuff all our things in their pockets! Well, that’s not true, but I am sure he would not mind carrying your phone and cash/credit card in his pocket. After all, he does not want to be embarrassed by his girl paying for anything with boob money.
I will let your imagination make that image…I suggest you never Google the above!
Now that you got that mental picture here is a palate cleanser…this is America in fashion glory!
Everyone better be going to a BBQ, a pool, a beach, a party, a sale, or SOMETHING?!! Lets dress cute, deal? Lets also agree that we are not 6 years old, we DO NOT NEED TO MATCH THE HOLIDAY DECORATIONS!
No need to wear red, white, AND blue! That should be considered un-American really! Since I know you are all HOT, dress like it! Here is what I think is the perfect outfit for NYC, 2 outfits 1 idea; look good!
White jeans- make sure they are thick denim please. Nobody needs to look like J.Lo ala her Puff Daddy days- yikes! Good white jeans are insanely flattering and much better than light jeans, leggings, or CAPRIS. So the white jeans + one more patriotic color is all you need to be “festive” without being a decoration. Wear a gray tee-shirt or tank and gold jewelry - your tan wants to look good! Don’t forget sandals and a cross body bag so you don’t commit boob wallet crime. If you’re going to be outside, wear white shorts instead! Done! If you think you’re going to get cold, here come your BLUE and DENIM – there’s nothing more American than that! AHH you are going to look so good… thank me later when everyone compliments your amazing outfit.
HOT Night….Cool Drink!
Lets have a DRANK… yes a drank. How about mango cocktails? YES? Done! Check out this recipe, and make it for all your friends! I stole this from Sandra Lee, by far my favorite Food Network chef, simply because she gets more excited about making a matching cocktail for EVERYMEAL than the actual meal!
Makes 4 drinks
2 cuts frozen chopped mangos
1 cup fat free vanilla yogurt
1 cup mango nectar
8 oz of tequila
Crushed ice and peach slices
Blend yogurt, mangos, mango nectar, and tequila till its smooth and frothy. Pour over the ice and add peaches on top
So in 5 minutes all that can be done. EASY BREEZY!