I come from a land of beauty. I won’t tell you which land, but if you can count, you owe my people. While I hail from an exotic country filled with striking beauties, I have never been into beautification much myself. I once sought advice from my sister and one of my BFFs (Yeah, I have several. Deal with it!) on how to apply foundation. If you’re a boy and don’t know what that is, it’s basically plaster for your face.
It’s not that I think I don’t need beautification. The issue is that I’m lazy. I strive to be “Plain Jane.” If my choice is to look pretty, or sleep in an extra ten minutes, I’ll take sleep every single time. If you’re sitting there thinking I’m exaggerating, don’t! I have the pictures to prove it!
I remember a time when my girlfriends had to pin me down to put makeup on me for a costume party in college. Yeah, PIN ME DOWN! To their credit, I was a mess! I didn’t even start “doing” my hair until I was 30!
And although beauty isn’t my thing, I love free samples. Love them! A few years ago, someone gave me a tote bag filled with free goodies. I can’t recall all the contents, but I remember some Jelly Beans, mints, and a book on being a successful woman. I never cracked the book open, not my thing. I’d only read such a book if it was written by Eddie Izzard.
One item from the tote bag made its way to my medicine cabinet, then consequently made its way to my next two apartments. I never opened it because it seemed so fancy and a bit daunting. It was a snazzy french face moisturizer mask thingy. I didn’t know how, when, or how often to use it. So I just kept it in my cabinet as a decorative item. It never crossed my mind to open it, look it up, or try it.
When I finally settled into my current awesome apartment, I again noticed my well-traveled, treasured exotic beauty product. I thought, “What the heck, I’ll put it on before I go to bed tonight.” I figured it couldn’t hurt my face to slap a small amount on (must ration this fancy magic goo) and let it beautify my face. So I did just that. It felt a bit sticky and heavy, but I assumed that’s how moisturizer is supposed to feel. I could feel myself getting prettier. I decided to adopt this into my nightly beauty regiment, which up until that point consisted of taking out my contacts.
A few nights of using my new precious product, and it became part of my routine. It then occurred to me, what if I am supposed to use it more often? It’s kind of heavy, should I maybe wash it off? It does have the word “masque” in it, so I bet I’m supposed to wash it off. Late one night, after I had applied this magic potion, I decided to look it up on the Google to see the directions. Not surprisingly, I WAS supposed to wash it off! Dang it, this whole time I had kept it on my face all night! Oh wait, wait, wait. What? Oh my goodness! As I read, I was horrified. It turns out the “masque” is for my HAIR! Seriously????
The good news: my eyebrows had never felt silkier.