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A few years ago, a friend of mine asked me to accompany him to an Indian wedding as his date. Normally I wouldn’t go to the wedding of a complete stranger, but I jumped at the opportunity to go to an Indian wedding as I’d never been to one before.

This was a wedding unlike any I’d ever attended. Not only was it the one of the most enjoyable weddings I’d ever been to, it was also the most elaborate one.

The wedding was in a huge hall in Long Island. After the traditional ceremony (where we had tea/coffee and biscuits), we were escorted to a large room where there were numerous food stations.

I assumed this was the reception and filled my plate. The food was excellent; I was stuffed. As I started wondering when the bride and groom would walk in, we were escorted to an even larger room with round dinner tables everywhere. What?! I just ate…a lot

But I’m a trooper, so I filled my plate at the buffet with delicious authentic Indian food. And just so I don’t appear rude, I went for seconds. How could I offend our gracious hosts?

After dinner, there was the dancing! I watched as most of the guests and the wedding party filled the dance floor, dancing to Indian music. My date made me try dancing like the other guests. I had such a great time. The other guests were so welcoming and open to teaching me their beautiful moves.

On the way back to the city, I asked my friend how much a wedding like that would cost.“Probably around $200K.”

I could not believe people drop this kind of cash to host a party where people they might not know can come and stuff themselves silly. My friend who was actually invited was not that close with the bride and didn’t know the groom. He and I are not even in contact any more. So the bride and groom spent at least $500 on our food even though we didn’t end up being friends in the future.

A friend of mine is in the midst of planning her wedding. I am astonished at all the details involved in this one day. Did you know there are “rules” to wedding planning? I’d like to meet the old lady who came up with these rules. Why should I follow her directions? Isn’t it MY day?

According to, the average wedding in the US costs between $19K and $32K. Are you freaking kidding me??? That’s a down payment on a house. That’s an amazing trip around the world. That’s a freaking car!

While I love my family and friends dearly, I will not be going this route. So instead, I’ve come up with some alterations to the traditional wedding.

Wedding invitations are only a part of what you have to send to your guests. You are supposed to send an Engagement Announcement, a Save The Date, the invite itself, then finally Thank You notes. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars that will end up in your guests’ trash bin. I plan on avoiding all this by sending a mass text.

The wedding cake can cost anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars. I get that the cake is symbolic and is generally a work of art. I like looking at them. But to be honest, I’d be happier with a square of frozen Tiramasu from Costco.

When you think of the venue, don’t think you just need to pay for the place you’ll hold your reception. You have to pay for chair and table rentals. You have to hire a DJ or live band, photographer and a videographer. You have to pay for the decorations, alcohol and of course, the food. And that’s AFTER you’ve paid for the rehearsal dinner the night before where you have to provide a meal for your close friends and family, and gift the people in your wedding party.

I just gave myself a headache just by listing all the ways to spend my hard-earned money. And I’m sure I’ve missed a whole other list of things you’re supposed to do when you get married. My solution: a BYOEverything to a chill wedding in a park. I’ll be there, so will the groom. Because I’m classy, I will only invite those close to me.

I am not throwing out all the rules though. I will, of course, have a gorgeous dress. Hello Vera Wang and Carolina Herrera! After all, the day is all about ME.

And oh, the engagement ring? It’ll have to be substantial. I’m not a cavewoman.

Featured Image by Jeremy Wong Weddings on Unsplash

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    August 31, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    wow!!! thank God you’re not a cavewoman… I’d hate to see what kind of wedding you’d have if you were!!!

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