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Google Maps Ruined My Life

The night before Thanksgiving, I met up with a bunch of friends for a “family dinner.” 

I thought this meant we’d all get together for a massive dinner, but it turned out we were about to eat family style…as in share food. 


Is it unbecoming that I don’t like to share food? Anyway, trying to get 11 people to agree on what to order requires UN involvement. With no UN ambassador in sight, three of us stepped up to the plate and ordered for everyone. Crisis averted.

That wasn’t the last of the drama at the table. We discovered that one among us does not have an iPhone, but a Blackberry! 

In my circle, that is grounds for full-on ostracizing. Just when we all rallied against her, she found our Achilles’ heel – Google Maps.
 

Most of us had upgraded our iPhones and therefore had lost Google Maps. We were trying to use Apple’s map. 

Apple maps in New York basically translates to lost New Yorkers. We can’t even find the right subway!! The loss of Google Maps weighed heavy on the hearts of many around the table. We’re dealing with a first-world problem. 


Listening to us go on and on about how badly our beloved Apple had betrayed us, you’d think we’d forgotten we’re still dealing with the aftermath of Sandy. Or even worse, that we’re oblivious that across the globe, in the Gaza Strip, a war had erupted…again. Or that Egypt’s hairy political climate was stirring it’s people into another revolution. 


Or worse of all, that my beloved Anderson Cooper feels obligated to put himself in danger by reporting in the midst of all the turmoil.

Most of us are not oblivious to the disasters, war and famine across the world. We know real problems exist. But we’re New Yorkers. We have a reputation to maintain. We don’t show fear. We don’t dilly dally as if taking a stroll in the park; we walk with purpose.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to look like a tough New Yorker when you can’t figure out where you are? We’re used to people stopping us to ask for direction. What is not common practice, and hard enough to admit, is the horror of being stopped on the street and asked if you need help! This is my city! I should know how to get around. I’ve hid the fact (to strangers at least) that I’m directionally challenged for almost eight years. But thanks to the omission of Google Maps, I’ve been outed.

I’m the one walking around looking down on my phone with a confused look on my face and curses at Apple swirling around in my brain. So yeah, maybe I don’t live in a city where the threat of being bombed has become the norm, but I’m living my own kind of hell. 

A few nights ago, I ended up in Brooklyn on the way home. 


BROOKLYN!!! 

Featured Image by NESA by Makers on Unsplash

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3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Ashlina Kaposta

    December 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    LMBO!
    amazing article.

  2. Avatar

    Gar Long

    December 1, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Keep the laughs coming. I surf on my iPad and travel with my Droid.

  3. Avatar

    Anonymous

    December 1, 2012 at 6:18 am

    U must not be a native newyorker
    U should be able to travel any boro …even if it’s not ur usual hang out* brooklyn shudders*get a life!! only transplants think manhattan = NewYork..but ur story did make me lol.Android User* google maps* lol

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