One of the great things about living in New York City is being able to go out and explore your neighborhood on a beautiful spring day.
There is just one important thing to remember: don’t go out at 3 o’clock.
You see, at 3 pm Monday – Friday, school gets out and that means that every child from ages 8-15 are going to be walking or taking the train home from school.
Here are ﬁve reasons why I dread this time of day.
1. The noise level.
Sitting on the train listening to Emily talk to Beth about Ricky and his other online girlfriend at an obscene volume is not how I want to spend my commute. Even when they are walking outside they still manage to reach a volume that makes me cringe. Please stop yelling at each other from across the street; if you really need to talk one another, one of you should cross.
2. The blatant disregard for any other people trying to make their way down the street.
And if you have grocery bags, forget about it! You are going to have to push down at least four 15-year-olds on their cell phones to be able to make it home. And for some reason they feel that walking ﬁve kids in a row is very necessary. You can’t even talk to each other when you walk like that!
3. I love my dog, but sometimes he really needs to go to the bathroom at 3 o’clock. Now granted all dogs are cute, but my dog is super cute and every child feels a need to run up to him yelling “PUPPY!!!” My dog doesn’t understand the concept of little humans and obviously freaks out. I usually have to pick him up and carry him home, where I have to soothe him with treats and videos of penguins, and of course he still has to go to the bathroom. And sometimes these children’s parents are with them and do nothing to stop it!
4. If I am driving, which I rarely do unless it’s a very important trip to Ikea or Target, these children, especially the older ones, really like to dodge trafﬁc. They either bolt across the street when it’s a green light or they pretend to run in front of my car. Please stop! I know you are making the girls giggle, but I nearly just killed you.
5. This one is the worst because it in no way is funny: pretending to jump in front of an incoming train. I can not tell you how many times I have been on the subway when the conductor comes on to yell at another idiot for pretending to jump. It’s just not funny, it has never been funny and I doubt you are impressing anyone.
So please everyone, take my advice; that trip to the grocery can wait till 3:30.
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