There, I said it.
Those five little words. Five little words that when used in combination with each other have elicited some of the most passionate responses I have ever received.
There is no position I have had to defend more over the course of my life than this one and this is coming from someone who loves Jesus!
This is how the conversation usually goes. Someone suggests we get something to eat. Someone else follows up with, “How about Mexican?” I respond with “I don’t like Mexican food.”
An awkward silence ensues as everybody in the group freezes and looks at me. They are waiting for me to follow up with something like, “I’m just kidding.” or “Haha, gotcha!”
Unfortunately, such a response is not forthcoming. In fact, I am, as the kids are saying these days, “Deadass.” (What does that even mean? Is someone going around killing donkeys?)
At this point, the conversation usually begins to meander down a predictable path. It’s like everyone has read the “Things to say to people who don’t like Mexican food” handbook and I am their case study. I start to hear things like:
“How can you not like Mexican food?”
“It’s because you haven’t had real Mexican food.”
“There are no good Mexican food places in New York. You need to come to where I’m from.”
This last one is my favorite of all because firstly, am I really supposed to believe that in all of NYC there is not one good Mexican place? C’mon.
Secondly, the people who always pull out that line are either from California or Texas. Surprise surprise. The rivalry about whose Mexican cuisine is better is one that they apparently take very seriously. It’s almost like USC playing Texas in the Rose Bowl. That’s how intense this thing gets.
Apparently, these are the only legitimate contenders when it comes to “real” Mexican food. Ironically, no one ever mentions Mexico in this debate. I have never had anyone say to me, “You need to go to Mexico if you want to get real Mexican food.”
As a matter of fact, I have never had a Mexican chastise me for not liking Mexican food, which I find interesting. If they aren’t that bothered by my aversion to the stuff, why is everyone else?
Here’s the thing though, I don’t think I should have to go to a certain place to appreciate a certain type of food. For example, I love Chinese food. I have had it all over the world, and have had both good and bad Chinese food. The fact that I have had bad Chinese food on any given day in no way influences my desire to eat it again later on. I like it because I like it, independent of any particular experience.
This is something that people who keep trying to convince me to eat Mexican food don’t seem to understand for some reason. You could take me to the best Mexican restaurant in the world and it still not going to do anything for me.
In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that I would rather eat bad Chinese food than good Mexican food. I just don’t like the stuff, and find it amusing that I have to keep apologizing for that.
So there you have it. I have confessed my proverbial sin.
I realize that I am the solitary being on this planet that doesn’t like Mexican food, but I hope from here on out you will all learn to live in peace with me.
If that doesn’t work, then my next best plan is to one day find a girl who shares my dislike for Mexican food, get married, and have a bunch of kids who obviously will be raised to dislike Mexican food. From there we will slowly but surely begin to create a new world order. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
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