Be FunJune 20, 2012

It’s Not Me, It’s You!

In this city, the first question people often ask one another when they first meet is “What do you do?”

I didn’t like that question when I was employed by huge conglomerates because I then had to respond with an admission to working in a huge financial firm…that’s such a bore!

However, when I became unemployed, thrice, I didn’t much mind it. After all, I had joined the few, the proud, the unemployed. How many people have been able to say that lately?! Oh wait….

A tougher question to answer, for me, is “Any special men in your life?” I mostly get this question from friends who I haven’t seen in a while, which is fair. But I then must explain why I’m eternally single.

You see, the reason I’m dateless in the city is the same as why I became unemployed, THE MARKET. It’s not my fault, it’s what’s out there….IT’S THEM!
Years ago, I worked in one of those high-rise buildings in midtown they always showed a shot of on Will & Grace. My desk happened to be on a very boring floor where you couldn’t find a hottie even if you went for a desk-to-desk hunt…and I did.

So imagine my delight when one afternoon I took the elevator down alone, and a hottie got in the elevator!! It was like spotting a unicorn.

This is the kind of story romantic comedies are made of. Not quite as good as meeting my future husband on a long plane ride across the Atlantic where we both got bumped up to first class, but I’ll take it.

Right away I got nervous. How does one flirt in an elevator? Do I give him a look? Do I smile? Do I wait for him to say something? Do I lean against the wall? Yeah yeah, leaning! So I leaned against the wall, waited a few beats, and looked over at him. But wait, clearly I was seeing things, because…did I really see he swing an imaginary golf club???? No, surely he didn’t. It was a quick glance, there’s no way I processed this properly.

I kept my eyes in front of me for a few seconds before I gathered up the nerve to look again. When I finally did glance over, I almost sighed audibly at what I witnessed. HE WAS SWINGING HIS IMAGINARY GOLF CLUB….AGAIN!!!! In that moment, all my dreams of marrying the elevator hottie and having a fab story of how we met evaporated with his swing.

My hopes deflated, there was only one thing left to do. I turned to my elevator hottie and asked, “You know I can see you, right?”

Featured Image by Daan Stevens on Unsplash