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No Parking

Each time I end up having access to a car here in the city for any amount of time, I am reminded of one thing and one thing only: how pointless it is to have a car in the city. 

It’s seriously not even worth the hassle in any way whatsoever. Firstly, and also lastly, there is never anywhere to park. Is there any more deflating feeling than seeing what you think is an empty space only to get up close and find a hydrant there? 

Which leads to my next question; why are there so many hydrants in this city?!? Can’t they just make the hoses on the fire trucks longer so they can make do with one or two, as opposed to ten, on each block? 

Then there are the parking signs. Could they be anymore confusing and complicated? It’s like you need a PhD to be able to figure out what times it’s okay to park in a spot.

Here’s a piece of advice: save yourself the trouble because chances are you probably can’t park there anyway and will probably get a ticket. The alternative, I suppose, is that you could always put your car in the garage. 

But then you could also just stay home and flush your money down the toilet. At least that way you would save yourself some time and gas.

So with all that in mind, the last thing anyone wants to deal with is one of those people who stands in a parking space talking about how they are holding it for someone. That kind of senseless act should be punishable under law and carry with it a sentence of three to five years in Sing Sing. 

Seriously, when did this become a thing people do and think it’s okay? Parking spots are for cars to park, not for people to stand in and “wait for” someone to come park. 

If whoever you claim to be holding a spot for ain’t there when someone else pulls up, chances are you’re going to have a Mexican standoff on your hands. 

The next thing you have to waste brain cells on is thinking about street “cleaning.” Planning your week around making sure your car is on the appropriate side of the street each day is another one of the joys of having a car in the city. 

On certain streets, this whole debacle has turned into what can only be classified as an elaborate game of musical chairs. People come out and move their cars to double park on the other side of the road for the hour and a half that the “cleaning” is supposed to take place. And then once the street sweeper goes by, that’s when the music stops. At that point, everyone is scrambling to find a seat as they all scurry back into their cars to try and reclaim a spots. It’s all quite entertaining to watch. 

However, you really can’t blame them because those spots can be extra valuable on a Thursday or Friday after the cleaning. If you’re fortunate enough to get in one, then you know you’re good for parking through the weekend till Monday or Tuesday. 

And therein lies the great irony in this whole having a car in the city thing. You spend so much time finding parking that when you do, you will keep your car in that spot for as long as you can. This means you don’t actually drive anywhere, but rather end up taking the subway or walking, which basically brings you right back where you started from. 

So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, maybe it’s just me, but that I believe is what they call an exercise in futility.

Featured Image by Leica Store LV on Flickr
Public Domain Mark 1.0

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