When you live in New York City, the urinal is a necessary evil. If you’re like me, you have at least one moment on each urinal ride where you pray you don’t scream out for more space, or for the “musicians” to hop off, or for that man next to you to stop inching into your personal space.
Worse than having to rely on a mobile tin can to get around the city are the horrible urinal stations I’m subjected to.
1 – Canal Street Q/N…R: Let me save you an hour. Do not wait for the R where the other yellow trains stop. I’ve wasted way too much time waiting for the R that doesn’t exist. How silly of me to expect the R to run where the Q and N run like every other station. As if it’s not enough to be stuck in the black hole that is the Canal Street station.
2 – Union Square: I have to fight to get off the train before people stampede over me. It’s almost as if I’m invisible and they don’t see me. Doesn’t it occur to the hungry hyenas that if they let me off first, it’ll make the whole process easier for all of us?
3- Fulton Street: The only good thing about trying to maneuver through this hub is it’ll feel like a workout, which is a pass for skipping the gym. This station is a freaking maze. I’m betting the MTA is using us as lab rats in a bad experiment.
4 – 14th Street Underpass from 6th to 7th Avenue: immediately my senses are assaulted by people asking for money, displaying their “musical talent” and the ever-present urine aroma. The icing on the cake is having to go up and down several staircases as if I’m a contestant on The Amazing Race trying to solve a puzzle.
5 – Brooklyn Bridge J Train: This hidden area is primed for crime. Dark and shady, it’s smart to clutch an umbrella for protection. Ironically, this station is right by City Hall.
6 – 2nd Avenue F Train: It’s bad enough to end up in the LES where it’s a miracle to make it out healthy; I lost my appetite for two days from the things I see and smell.
7 – Times Square: Times Square is just hell. I’m constantly accosted by a swarm of lost tourists who don’t understand the rhythm and flow. Avoid at all costs.
If you have stations you loathe as much as the above list, tell us below.
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