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The Perfect Man

I don’t hate Valentine’s Day, I nothing it. I’ve never gotten sad on February 14th. 

If you’re in a relationship with someone you love on that particular day, live it up! 

If you aren’t, why get sad?

I’m not always going to be single, so I choose to celebrate my singleness while I still retain it. 

There are so many advantages of being single; I want to enjoy them all until the time comes to enjoy the advantages of being in a relationship. 

Last night, I celebrated my singleness by having dinner with girlfriends. I’m fortunate to be surrounded by girlfriends who don’t stay at home longing for a boyfriend. 

We met, we ate, we drank, we laughed. Not a bad February 14th.

You might be wondering why I’m so content to be single. I’ll be honest; I have moments where I wish I wasn’t. 

These moments usually occur when I’m trying to negotiate my apartment lease, deciding if I should move or not or when I have to hang up things. I had one such moment earlier this week when I lugged a ton of groceries to my apartment from Trader Joe’s. 

All the madness of living in Manhattan aside, I’m just holding out for the perfect man.

He doesn’t exist? Oh, yes he does in my head. 

The trouble is he’s a compilation of four real men. Yes, I’m aware I sound greedy, but one of the advantages of being single is having the luxury to design your future mate in your head. Mine happens to be perfect for me!

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a set of qualities I desire in my future mate. We see said qualities in various people who cross our paths and, if we’re fortunate, we find one person who embodies most of the characteristics on our mental lists. 

I certainly have come across people who possess qualities I love. The only difference is that these are people who live in my TV. Although I don’t actually know them, I have seen three of them in real life, so I’m sure they’re not trolls in disguise. You’re probably dying to find out who these four men are who form my ideal groom. 

First up is the dashing Anderson Cooper

I know what you’re thinking: he dresses too nicely for me. Oh, that’s not it? Yes, I know he doesn’t date women, but I don’t discriminate. Anderson has a lot going for him. Obviously he’s quite handsome. I don’t often get star struck walking around New York City, but when I came across Anderson in the West Village, I gasped. However, Anderson’s contribution to my perfect man is that he is well-rounded and knowledgeable. He is well-traveled and cultured. This aspect of my husband will come in handy when we are at dinner parties. 

After Anderson, I veer a bit to funny anchormen. Stephen Colbert anyone? 

I’m well aware that he is married with children. I’m not after him; just his charisma. He is extremely funny. When I went to a taping of his show years ago, he kept the audience entertained for nearly the entire four hours we were there. He was the life of the party even up against a giant like REM. Feel free to be jealous; it was a great show. Stephen’s charisma is not only very attractive, but it will come in handy when I want to play a wallflower. 

I can’t love Stephen Colbert without loving Jon Stewart

The Daily Show is part of my daily diet. I’ve been to a taping of The Daily Show as well, and if you weren’t clear on this watching from home, Jon knows his stuff. In fact, both he and Stephen could run for office. Seriously run, not just pseudo-run. I’m not ashamed to say I consider Jon one of the most reliable sources of information on current world events. Who doesn’t love a sarcastic spin on hard news? But really, isn’t he keeping our politicians honest? I find that utterly attractive. So Jon, please give my future husband your sarcasm and wit. 

Last, but definitely not least, is Ashton Kutcher

On this last ingredient to my perfect man you might be shaking your head. Maybe you’re thinking, “Sarah, you lost me. Anderson is a news man. Stephen and Jon are funny news men. Ashton is so left field. What do you see in him?” To that I ask you, do you have eyes? Ashton looks like a Greek god. He is gorgeous, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t want a gorgeous man. But Ashton isn’t just eye-candy. He is a successful businessman and I find him funny. But mostly, I just want to him for his looks. 

Now that I’ve outlined my perfect man, it’s time to go to work on my own Frankensteinian creation. Stay tuned.   

Featured Image by Ruthson Zimmerman on Unsplash

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