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The Skinnier the Better?

I can’t stay quiet about this any longer. I’ve held it in long enough. I’ve watched and waited…waited for it to just phase out. But it hasn’t. 

I had hoped the end was near, but now all hope is gone. It’s time for action. 

I can’t let my eyes be assaulted by any more cleavage. I’ve had more than a lifetime’s share of accidental glances. But the shirt necks keep taking a dive. 

Worse, the pants keep getting tighter and “skinnier.” Who did this? Who should I blame? The French?

This isn’t a call to action for my fellow women to cover up. This is a call to action for the MEN! 

Whoever creates deep V-neck shirts for men deserves to be put in a burka for six months with no parole. When and how did man cleavage become a thing? Do men actually think we want to see their pectoral muscles that badly? Don’t they realize we have our own thing going on? 

Or is it that women have become SO accomplished that men are now jealous of everything we have, right down to our sex appeal?

Pectoral muscle-flashing is criminal enough; coupled with the skinny jean and we’ve got an outfit women in Saudi Arabia would be stoned for. That is how risque these jeans are getting. They are downright inappropriate. 

No one, other than a man’s significant other, should get this familiar with what the pants are covering. Walking around NYC, I feel like I’m stuck in a never-ending naughty all-man fashion show.  

Don’t get me wrong; I appreciate a man who cares for his looks, a man who takes care of himself. What I don’t appreciate is a man who looks skinnier in his skinny jeans than any girl I know. 

I understand this may be a double standard; what girl doesn’t love the comfort and look of a pair of boyfriend jeans? But this is a double standard I can live with. Androgyny in men’s jeans, men’s shirts and men’s shoes are not hot! 

Fetish lovers aside, I cannot imagine a woman saying “check out the skinny, chicken legs on that 

one.” I realize we live in a world where we dare not question fashion designers; we simply buy versions of their “genius” and follow them like sheep to the slaughter. 

But to my fellow women, I say “Beware!” Stand guard my friends! The hipsters are everywhere! They are taking over adorned in jeans skinnier and tighter than yours, V-necks with deeper Vs than you’d dare sport to the club. There seems to be a very blurry line between hipsters and metrosexuals. 

Is it too much to ask for a guy who grooms himself as well as I groom myself yet dresses in man clothes?!

So brothers, I appeal to you, cover up! You’re embarrassing me! Leave something to the imagination, and give me back my clothes!

Featured Image by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

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